Thursday, August 8, 2013

Trust (Part 1)

Trust is like a triple scope ice cream cone on hot summer day. If you don’t enjoy it right now it melts away. In fact the only why to keep it from going to waste, is share it before it’s gone.
Too many times we trust others and get burned. That is the nature of trust. Trust is an exercise in vulnerability. When we trust we open ourselves to potential pain. If I trust you and you violate that trust: who is to blame? …Me, for trusting you? …Or You for beaching my trust?
But even if you gave no warning…
Even if I was totally caught unawares…
Even if you are completely to blame…
It still hurts like HELL!

Then is it wrong to trust?
Life is trial and error. The errors are a key ingredient to the recipe. If we don't fail, we don't learn. Trusting the "wrong" people shapes who we are as much as trusting the "right" people. Once again to reiterate the lessons from Kindergarten, "Its okay to make mistakes." 
Trust yourself to learn. 

Here you might expect an instruction to "learn from those mistakes" and not trust the "wrong" people again. That instruction is avoided because its next to impossible. This is not a suggestion to continue trusting someone who had already betrayed you. You can learn from them and move on, but you can't assume that learning from their betrayal will prevent you from being betrayed by someone else.

For the most part there are not wrong people, only immature people. We wrongly believe people because they wrongly believe themselves. Its easy to believe people have the best of intentions, because they do. They are trying to believe in themselves and convince themselves that they are trustworthy. Its a lot easier to sell a lie when you believe that lie. People lie to themselves as much than they lie to us. People rationalize and justify all sorts of behavior; we just get caught in their wake.

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