Tuesday, November 26, 2013

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Edward Cullen, Christian Grey... Or any character played by Matthew Mcconaughey... Face it woman like the Bad Boys. Whether he's an actual bad ass or just the dubious player, he makes her panties pulsate. There is something alluring about the guy that can't be caught. Deep down women want to be Sandra Dee to Danny Zuko. Well, not that deep down actually. Its right there boiling at the surface.

A diabolical battle raged across the ages: Not Beowulf vs Grendel, Not Hercules vs Minotaur, Not Ulysses vs Cyclops...

But The Nice Guy vs The Bad Boy.

What's funny? Why do I laugh? I'm both. I've been the nice guy who's advantage gets taken. And I've been the player who steals the other guys girl. I'm not proud of either of those. (Especially since it happened at the same time.) The problem: there is no hero in this fight. Women get all excited about The Bad Boy. Yet, women want the security of The Nice Guy. No matter which one she chooses she is always disappointed. The Bad Boy will never fulfill her. And The Nice Guy will never fill her full. What is a girl to do? Settle?

She could get her groove on with a few Bad Seeds. Then put down roots with the guy she can take home to mom and dad. But That doesn't work.


She could spend the rest of her life trying to turn one of those bad seeds into a good egg. Sorry ladies, you can't change him. That still doesn't work.

I've conducted enough couples therapy to know that these are recipes for failure... Or at least mediocrity.

And how does all this make him feel? "Taken advantage of" for being nice. "Like an ass" for not being good enough.
Both perpetuate the cycle. He contributes to the problem as much as she does. Then resentment festers until someone melts down Lindsay Lohan style.

Again! What's a girl to do? The truth is you can't change who he is, but you can change how you view him. Most guys are not "either/or." They really are "both/and." We have both our good and our bad sides. We can be sweet, and we can be nasty. You my dear, have the key. Don't take advantage of The Nice Guy, then fall for The Bad Boy. Reverse the rolls. Fall for The Nice Guy show him the appreciation and affection he deserves. Then take advantage of The Bad Boy. This won't be cheating if you realize he is one in same. He is two sides of the same coin. You just need to explore both.

Treat him like the nice guy you need him to be; then seduce him like the bad boy you want him to be.